For a while it felt like my body was falling apart but I took steps and today I got the proof that it's mine again. A little pain, not much - uncomfortable but not incapacitated.
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nice things: Batman draws me a page of orange and blue scribbles, says it's a rainbow that fell down. It used to be so high up the people couldn't even reach it. But it fell down so they could fix it. He also says the leaves fall on the rainbow and make it come true. He adds more orange, orange means thunder.
I ask Suzy to draw me a monkey eating a pie. She says she will not. But she will draw me a monkey in pajamas. That's called "majamas."
I ash Hannah if she'd like to be a monkey on a boat who can do the hula and eats pie all day long. She says, What kind of pie. I say apple. She thinks about it. I like apple. But all I want is to be a grownup and stay in the pool all day.
Gabby wants to know if I had to wear an apron back in the olden days.
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I found it. Probably fifteen years of trial and error (meaning, "errors"), and it turns out, the only difference was dark brown sugar.
Since I started making cookies, which was in middle school, I've been trying to make cookies like the ones I had once at Jenny's house when I was nine. We rode the bus to her house after school (the bus scared the hell out of me) and their house was big and lush and unfamiliar and professionally decorated, which impressed me at the time, and we lay on the floor of her living room and watched tv for hours and she had cable.
I don't remember whether Jenny's parents were even there. But I remember the maid who was big and kind and had timed the cookies so they'd still be warm when the bus dropped us off. They were flat and soft and buttery and left grease all over our hands. She'd made them too big and they'd run into each other on the pan and gone square, she had to cut them apart with a spatula and there were rough edges where they'd kissed each other.
If that night was definitively the beginning of my big fat ass, I do not care.
