I still had cramps and wanted to lie around groaning all day but that's what I did yesterday and now it was time to go back to work. So I did and was surrounded by unbelievable assholes. Not everybody, just everybody under ten, which is largely who I people my day with.
I gave a warning to a bunch of asshole kids, and they paid me no attention, so I spoke more sharply, and they still wouldn't give me so much as an "uh-huh." I've never been the sort to require a "yes ma'am" (cringe), but damn, at least pretend to be listening. Because if I feel a lecture has been entirely for naught, I am liable to do it again and again until I get it right.
So I halted the soccer game and made everybody sit on the ground and listen to me go off. Every time somebody was a jackass I started the whole thing over, giving credit where it was due: Looks like Jake would like to hear this speech from the beginning. Everybody make sure to thank Jake afterwards! I was kind of a gigantic bitch but you'll just have to trust that I do this only when they're truly asking for it. There's no such thing as discipline in their pampered worlds and it worries me to think what will happen to some of them once they hit real life. If they ever do.
I sat on the grass with Gabby, who was having an awful day, and we sulked. It was no more than five minutes later when I looked over at the soccer game with its nine goalies - in a soccer game of fifty kids a lot of rules get bent - and saw that the goalies had all started doing the electric slide for no reason and I was charmed all over again, just utterly charmed.
Between Gabby and the electric slide I was feeling a lot better but what cured me was the cherry pie. The Czech baked what she calls "pie... wit CHERRY!" Eyes open as wide as they'll go, big grin. Even her "pie" is not the same word as mine - it's a happy round fruity word in her mouth, allowed more than one syllable, like the first two-thirds of "paella." I can't tell if that's due to her accent or joy.
It wasn't strictly pie - more like a cobbler, cherries over a thick spongy crust baked in a tremendous stainless-steel lunchlady pan. It was probably bisquik and canned pie filling but I didn't care, it was awesome and I ate like a fool.
It made me remember, and I couldn't believe I hadn't told her this already, about the Czech pastry my father used to make. I said, "Do you know colaches?" and she beamed and grabbed me by both shoulders and said COLACH! YES, COLACH! YOU FATHER, HE CZECH?? and then we had to talk about colaches for twenty minutes but I was still eating pie so it was ok.
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Yesterday the thing that got my mind off cramps was spending the better part of an hour looking at pictures of bunnies. Here's my favorite.
