Spidercamp

40 in a class? no wonder we delinquent

Today I went to the outlet mall (I needed Levis and bible covers) and I can't decide what was my favorite part of the outlet mall: the pair of blondes in a teal Rabbit with a sparkly pink "I'd rather be shopping" sticker, NO KIDDING, or the commemorative mural. It was a hallway-long artist's rendering of the outlet mall (stunning), overlaid with closeups of a bunch of white guys, completely unlabeled and unexplained. Thanks white guys! Also I'd forgotten how much I like loading up the ipod with all my songs about women's asses and walking around in a crowd looking at women's asses. This wasn't my plan, I just have an exceptional number of these songs.

--

Blue Scholars' "No Rest for the Weary" is not about butts; it's so sweetly & earnestly stay-in-school they should rename themselves the Straight As. The Good Questions? I love it. That's a rapidshare link - if you try it, will you (anyone and specifically Ira) tell whether it's annoying?

things that rule: peach cake, my buddy Jim, reindeer

This morning I got up and made something awesome for breakfast. I don't often do that, and when I do it's usually a recipe I've made a dozen times already. Because in the morning I am retarded and easily frustrated so it's best not to experiment. And for weeks it's been never more than three hours of sleep in a row due to cats and malfunctioning alarms. But this morning I was exhausted but no longer impressed with being exhausted so I made Alton Brown's upside-down peach cakes for the first time and they were easy and freaking fantastic. It's meant for ramekins but nothing bad would happen if you threw the whole mess in a baking dish and made a straight-up cobbler. Logan took one bite and said OH HELL YES.

If you want to eat like the kind of pig I eat like, the rest of my online recipes are here.

--

I don't know why it's taken me so long to say so, but my friend Jim is awesome. It's been his dream forever to get back a piece of family land, and he's done that. Now he's building a cabin there, and is partially funding the project by selling the beautiful things he makes out of wood collected on the land. I am the very happy owner of a set of wooden buttons and a wooden crochet hook that's smooth and perfectly curved and not like any other one in the world. On top of the good story, he's one of the friendliest and most interesting people the internet has been kind enough to bring me. It slays me that he and Dr. Doyle aren't local to each other because in my head they're meant to meet for coffee all the time. Anyway, Jim's blog is here; enjoy.

--

I can't delete this wonderful npr story/interview about reindeer because every time I listen to it, I go off-task in a different spot and miss part of it. It's so quiet and cold it makes me think of Pete, in a good way; he'll get that. yousendit dropload savefile transferbigfiles rapidshare ok, I tried for like 2 hours to upload the damn thing, is the whole internet broken? If you'd like to hear this, I'll be glad to email it to you, or, if you have an odeo account (free), it's downloadable here.

edit: I take it back, finally got it to work on rapidshare, which is only slightly annoying, good luck.

the girls know how much i love to write about them. they say they don't mind.

Today a nun driving behind me honked and honked. I checked my driving and the relevant traffic lights but couldn't figure what I was doing wrong other than not being particularly Christian. At the bank, a sandaled monk in saffron robes shoved past me. When he met my eyes he scowled and yanked the cloth up to cover his nipple. Mrs. Pitts at the post office acted as if she had never laid eyes on me and then told me I favor Leslie, the dyke from the hardware store up the street. I opened a door for two men carrying the largest geode I have ever seen outside a museum. They were taking it into the Kinko's - why? A strange day in the neighborhood.

--

A couple of nights ago the alarm went off at 6 am, which counts as the middle of the night if you're dead asleep. An unfamiliar motion light outside had been tripped, and not by the cats, and the alarm was going nuts so I called the cops. We got a pair who were charmingly straight off the tv - fit, attractive, polite, multiracial. They had nicknames dude it was ridiculous. And then officer handsome was like, well citizen you did the right thing by calling us, looks like it's nothing, are you sure it wasn't a raccoon or an opossum, ha ha.

Then that evening Logan saw something poke its head into the kitchen and I was sitting elsewhere covered in kittens so he knew it wasn't them, and it was a damn raccoon, enormous and bold and IN the KITCHEN. We sent it up a tree and then for extra horror a fatass possum - a new one - shot out from under the deck. The neighborhood is patrolled by a HAWK. Atlanta the hell? I used to have monkey dreams all the time where everything was normal and then I would look out the window and see monkeys in all the trees. This is like that in the most uncool way.