screw it, i'm renaming this whole thing "weird shit that happened at the post office"
this one guy storms in and wants to see the postmaster, which, i cannot ever stop my brain from supplying "flash." he says his fiancee was assaulted in the parking lot yesterday and he wants to talk to whoever's in charge of security, etc. he says he is tired of all those homeless guys always hanging around outside.
this is of course a complicated issue but i can certainly see where he's coming from; any guy whose woman has been attacked gets to be furious and say whatever he wants. my issue is not with the sentiment, it is with his phrasing. because he did not actually say "homeless guys," or "men," or "shitheads." he said, "turkeys." his woman. got jumped. and the worst he could come up with was "turkeys." dude this is why swearing was invented, go for it!
then a guy comes in, at first i really think this is matt from brooklyn! but it's not, it's some french guy with his kid. the two of them could not have been more mismatched. dad in goatee and scholarly sweater / kid in red hoodie and trackpants.
the kid, who can't be older than 4, leans against the wall, crosses his sneaks, puts his hood up and jams his hands in his pockets. PUTS HIS HOOD UP. inside. and slouches it forward so i can only see the lower third of his face, the sulk. just gangsta as fuck, like any minute now he'll give me the upnod and sell me some weed. i'm 8 times this kid's age and he's got me so beat on coolness.
unlike most ladies i have never been automatically swoony over french, but somehow, from goatee + sweater + very earnestly speaking to his kid at great length, it was pretty all right? so this musical language is tumbling out of him and the kid's just nodding, nodding, so serious, so street.
finally the kid says, "i dunno, i always thought luke skywalker was pretty stealth."
