it is an odd reason to relish meeting new people, but i love the moment where i'm shaking hands and i open my mouth to say my name. because one day, i think i will know the correct word. i've been looking for it for so long. i love the jokes about porterhouse etc. but it also makes me deeply sad in a way nobody understands. but it also might be the thing i am most optimistic about. because i know that it will come to me. this will come true.